friendship and people concept - one teenage girl comforting another after break up

Why Some Friendships Come to an End

Often friendships end because of misunderstandings that never are discussed. When that happens, it causes a feeling of loss on both people’s parts and in that loss a questioning of what one could have done differently. If something arises in a relationship, it’s important to discuss it before it becomes something deeper and causes feelings of antipathy. Hopefully when misunderstandings happen they can be cleared up quickly, but in some cases it’s important to understand what went wrong in the first place. When you have a friendship that ends for some reason or other, it’s important to understand the course of events that caused it.

Exercise:
Think back on your life and write down a list of people you used to be good friends with,
but then the friendship ended or changed to an acquaintanceship. Take each name on your list and ask yourself the following questions about the relationship:

  • Did we share our true feelings?
    If the answer is yes, ask: Did it felt comfortable to share? If the answer is no, ask: Why not?
  • Was there any dependency in the relationship?
    If the answer is yes, ask: What was the dependency about and how did it make me feel?
  • Did you feel that this person was someone who was there for you in any-case scenario?
    If the answer is yes ask: How did that make me feel?
    If the answer is no ask: How did that make me feel?
  • What do you think was the true cause of the breakup?
  • Could that have been different? And if so, what needed to happen? Would you like to try having a close relationship with this person again?
    If the answer is yes, ask: How should I pursue this?
    If the answer is no, ask: Why not? Then look at the why not and let yourself feel whether that’s correct. If it feels correct, accept this had to be the outcome. If it doesn’t feel correct ask yourself, could there still be another outcome?

In general having a good relationship requires work. For those who believe in past lives, sometimes a lot of feelings are founded in those. Most karmic relationships at the beginning have positive feelings. If there is hidden negative karma, it won’t come out immediately but eventually will appear, bringing negative feelings that can change the relationship from being a positive one to a negative one, causing the relationship to end. If you can be aware of this happening and understand the reason, then you can let go of the past and continue to develop a positive relationship with the person that will offset the negative karma.

This article was an excerpt from Nanette V. Hucknall’s critically acclaimed book HOW TO LIVE FROM YOUR HEART.  Purchase your copy here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.